Breaking Free: How to Stop Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners

Emotionally unavailable refers to a pattern of behavior where a person is unwilling or unable to engage in emotional intimacy, vulnerability, or deep connection in a relationship. This can manifest in many ways, including avoiding meaningful conversations, dismissing emotions (their own or their partner’s), or being inconsistent in their level of engagement.

1. Why We’re Drawn to Emotionally Unavailable Partners

  • The familiarity factor: narcissistic abuse conditions us to seek validation.

  • The illusion of "earning" love vs. experiencing true, reciprocal love.

  • Dopamine hits - the sense of pleasure, happiness, or euphoria that accompany the emotional highs/lows of inconsistent partners.

2. Signs You’re in a Relationship with an Emotionally Unavailable Person

  • They avoids deep conversations about emotions or the future.

  • They send mixed signals or hot-and-cold behavior.

  • They prioritizes their needs over yours consistently.

  • You're always the one making emotional efforts.

3. How to Break the Cycle

  • Recognize your worth beyond someone else's approval.

  • Set clear boundaries and walk away from red flags early.

  • Build self-fulfillment so relationships are a choice, not a need.

  • Reprogram your subconscious expectations of love with - therapy, self-reflection, inner work.

. . .

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Read This Before Hiring a Therapist for Narcissistic Abuse

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Five subtle ways a past history of narcissistic abuse impacts you and how therapy can help.